Tomorrow We Go Back

A couple of days ago, I happened to read this post, which I wrote just before we started this trip.  Our “all around the world” trip was still completely in the future then.  Now, over 10 months later, our “all around the world” trip is quickly coming to an end.  Tomorrow we go back to the United States.  While we won’t be settling down just yet (AND so I’m going to blog a bit longer--more details below), the most significant part of this trip will be in the past.

I’m feeling a lot of emotions right now.  They are, in no particular order:

I’m sad.  Sad that this incredible adventure is about to come to an end.  Sad that a dream we held in the future for so long is now almost entirely in our past. 

I’m amazed.  Amazed at how quickly time has gone, how much we’ve seen in done in just over 300 days.  Amazed at how places that once were only exotic names on a map are now familiar.

I’m anxious.  Anxious to determine where we’re going to live, what new jobs we’re going to have, what our housing is going to be, where the boys are going to go to school in the fall.  Anxious to get the details of this transition figured out--as a Type A personality, limbo is not my preferred state of being.

I’m happy.  Happy that we got to share some of our adventures with family and friends who joined us along the way.  Happy that we’ll get to see a lot more of family and friends this summer after having been far abroad for years.  Happy that the phase of “settling down”, which we’ve all looked forward to for quite some time, is approaching.

I’m proud.  Proud that our once seemingly-crazy idea became a dream.  Proud that we planned, saved, committed, and made that dream a reality.  Proud that we did something that mattered to our family, something that we’ll never forget.

I’m nervous.  Nervous about returning to the US after 3 years abroad, about adjusting back into a country and culture that seem to have changed a lot, while living and traveling abroad has changed me, too.  Nervous about transitioning back into the workforce after years as a stay at home mom.

I’m confident.  Confident that all the things I’m anxious about will come together in due time.  Confident that our family will transition, in all the different ways, with determination, hard work, and enthusiasm for this next phase of life.

No matter what emotion I feel at any particular moment, though, I eventually end up at one consistently recurring emotion:

I’m thankful.

Thankful that we’ve been healthy, thankful that we’ve been safe, thankful for the tremendous privilege and good fortune that’s enabled us to make this trip.  Thankful for everything we’ve seen, done, experienced, smelled, tasted, liked, disliked, been surprised by, been shocked by, been saddened by, questioned, discussed, explained, and laughed about.  Thankful to have support from family and friends as we transition from traveling back to “normal” life.  Thankful to know that our family will be housed, clothed, and fed while we figure out where we’ll go and what we’ll do next.  Thankful that we are so exceedingly fortunate, especially compared to so many in this world who have so little.

I’m incredibly, overwhelmingly, thankful. 

We’ve known from the get-go that this trip was finite, not a complete lifestyle change.  We’ve all looked forward to “settling down” after years of moving frequently.  We’ve all developed strong wings, it’s time to build some strong roots.

But transitions are stressful.  And knowing a transition is coming and also looking forward to what’s next doesn’t necessarily make the emotions any easier.  Fortunately, we’ve got a bit of practice with transitions after so many of them over the years.  So I remind myself that all these emotions are normal and that they’re nothing that a good run, a good cry, a good chat with a friend, and/or a good glass of wine can’t temper.  Sometimes a good scream into a pillow works, too.

***An update on this blog (if anyone has made it this far):  originally I had planned to end my posts when we returned to the US.  However, since we’re not settling into our own home right away and we’ll be visiting some interesting US cities this summer (New Orleans, Tampa/Orlando and Atlanta, for example), I’m going to keep posting for now.  After 3 years of living outside the US and with all the transitions ahead, the next months are going to be a whole new set of adventures for Moorhouses (who are still) on the Move.

And, frankly, I’m not quite ready to stop writing!  The overseas part of this “story” is ending, but I feel like ending the blog right now would be like cutting off the last 50 pages of a novel that I’m enjoying reading.  It doesn’t seem like the right time to stop just yet.

My intent in starting this blog was for it to be a journal for us and allow me to share our adventures with family and friends.  Over the past 10 months, I’ve gotten many kind comments from people who enjoy the blog, which is really rewarding to hear.  So thank you all for reading. J***

So that’s that.  Tomorrow we go back.  Back to the US, to begin the transition from abroad to home, from travel to “normal life”, from dream in action to dream in memory.  I go back with 300+ days full of adventures, a backpack full of well-worn clothes, a body full of some extra pounds, a mind full of emotions…

…and, most importantly, a heart full of thanks.